What Happend To Make You and Mom/Dad Divorce? What to Say When Your Child Finds Out About the Affair...

Parents have to deal with a lot of tough questions from their children--"Why is red red?" "Why can't I have a car?" or (yikes!) "Where do babies come from?"  But maybe none is tougher than the one discussed in this article "Why did you break up my family?"  Parents who think they can give a one-sided explanation are probably in for a shock. Kids are smarter than you think, and the impact of that breakup on their trajectory could have impact much further or deeper than you'd like.  The article below shares that kids take breakups differently at different times, and depending on how well it is handled.  Researchers don't fully understand why or what factors are at play to determine how a child manages a breakup.  What is known, however, should cause you great concern if your a parent--or a child. 

What do you tell your child when she or he asks "Why?"

The terrifying truth about custody evaluators--from our friend Charlie Asher of UpToParents, below.




The frightening reality is that custody evaluations are not only unscientific, biased, acrimonious, and often harmful to parents and children, they're extraordinarily expensive.  So, having insisted (or been duped into) one, what do you tell your child when he or she asks for a video game you can't or won't afford? Or a bike? Or a special field trip at school?  Music lessons? A special sports event?

"Sorry, dear! I spent $20,000 wringing out my intense anger against your mom/dad with a quack psychologist who made things worse, so I can't buy you those guitar lessons."

"I know you want to go on that trip with your school that costs $1,000, but mom blew $300,000 on a divorce attorney and got nothing but misery. Sorry!"

"Well yes college is important and I know you want to go, but that can't happen now because I still owe my divorce lawyer $100,000 I can't pay, and can't get a job because I demolished my career, your mom's/dad's career, and pretty much everyone I used to know that could help me get a job is frightened of me now. But hey, you can take out low income loans and be in debt for the rest of your life just like mom and dad!"

The message? "Sorry, Mom's anger at Dad was more important than you, your needs, or your future."

Or how about "Somebody else made me do it"? Is that a better excuse?

How about "I had no choice! I'm a victim!" Does that end the discussion?

What answer could you possibly give that justifies blowing your child's present and future on YOUR shallow, short-sighted emotional narcissism or foolishness in hiring a fraudulent custody evaluator?

If this is you, mom or dad, you probably don't deserve to be near children, much less be a parent to one.

If this is your mom or dad, God bless you. You deserve much, much better.

San Diego Child Abuse Hotline: 858-560-2191

The 24-hour Hotline is staffed by trained social workers who receive calls about child abuse, molestation and neglect. Each call is logged and evaluated as to the level of possible risk to the child. Neighbors, friends or relatives concerned about a child's safety, parents who are afraid they may hurt or neglect their child, and children who believe they are being abused should telephone the Hotline to discuss their concerns. Referrals to resources and additional help is given to any who have that need.

Outbound Links

Lynn Stuart's Betrayal of Her Family for Wealthy Financial Planner

Matthew Horsley, Serial Home-Wrecker/Cheater

Lynn Stuart's Pathological Behavior Explained to Dr. Stephen Doyne

Lynn Stuart's Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Substance Abuse 

Revealed in Divorce Proceedings

Photo of Cut to Croix Stuart's Face Caused at Lynn Stuart's Home

Photo of Cut to Croix Stuart's Eye While at Mother's Home

Matthew Horsley on Homewrecker Site with Lynn Stuart

Matthew Horsley and Lynn Stuart on Shesahomewrecker.com

Matthew Horsley--Serial Cheater/Homewrecker