Tuesday, June 11, 2013

We've Upgraded to Wordpress! Join Us!

Croix Stuart's Dad's Blog has moved to Wordpress. Update Links to HERE!

7 things children of alcoholics should know

If you're a child and this sounds like you... please call the number below right away...

If you are a child, please watch this.  If this sounds like you, or your Mom or Dad, call 911, or 1-800-344-6000--right away.  It's a child abuse hotline--people who will help you and your Mom or Dad.  They're open 24 hours a day--anytime you can call in private.

Remember--it's never your fault.  Mom or Dad needs help. The best way to help them is to get other people who care involved.  Please call.

God Bless


Friday, June 7, 2013

How NOT to get divorced... Maybe someday we'll laugh about it?

Welcome Folks!

To those of you seeking information about San Diego Child Custody Evaluators, I here offer what will hopefully be an enlightened perspective from a parent who's seen several sides of the issue.  Stay tuned for some big news coming up.

In the meantime, a bit of history.  I attach below a letter I originally delivered to Dr. Doyne in early 2009 after many months and many thousands of dollars of "mediation" that became a highly destructive money pit.  I recently "unearthed" this letter from my records (it's now four years old).  Reading the letter after years of dealing with this man and the cesspool of divorce courts, evaluators, and attorneys is eye-opening. 

With perspective I can see that I was extremely naive in thinking my input to Doyne would receive fair attention.  He billed (and bills) himself as a "forensic psychologist"--someone who goes deeper than merely listening to complaints and helping work out problems.  However, in my case he did no forensic work whatsoever--In fact, Doyne ignored all of the red flag warning signs I highlighted for him.  He performed no investigation whatsoever into the very serious concerns of child and spousal abuse.

After months and thousands of dollars with no progress, shortly after I sent this letter (and after receiving yet another $2,500 bill from Doyne) I told him I was done--he was making no progress on any issue I advanced, but was instead focusing on an endless list of petty "concerns" by my ex.  You can see my frustration in the letter.

His inaction was surprising--Doyne sells himself to attorneys, parents, and courts as the "high-conflict" and "forensic" (investigative) expert, and charges parents exorbitant fees for his "expertise."  However, I can tell you I've worked with dozens of "forensic" experts in my career--I'm a lawyer specializing in technically complex lawsuits.  Doyne's training, methodology, and opinions are worthless--as Gloria Steinham said of Los Angeles--there's no "there" there.

He's neither a forensic nor a clinician--he's a very convincing fraud.  Though he charges huge bills, he did in my case no "forensic" work whatsoever.  He relies heavily on the MMPI--a controversial "personality survey."  Rather than do the digging required for real forensic work, he prefers the MMPI "crystal ball."  Ask any "real" psychologist and you'll learn the entire profession of psychology treats Doyne and his "evaluator" colleagues as carnival midway sharpers.  I'll post more later on a book by Margaret Hagen that's available now online for free at www.whoresofthecourt.com.  If you're  parent it's an eye-opening read.

What Doyne does well is encourage strife and perpetuate fees.  In my case he did nothing whatsoever to even address the very serious "forensic" issues I raised, instead billing to "resolve" petty non-issues that any fifth grader with a two-sided coin could have resolved.  When I read the letter below today I get chills recalling the terror he blindly allowed, and billed extravagantly, to overtake our divorce.

In short, the people he pitches his services to--"high conflict"--are far more likely to be harmed (and bankrupted) than helped.  If you're into bloodlust, be my guest. You'll regret it soon enough.  The people who have a peaceful time don't need him anyway, but he'll be happy to fill his empty appointment calendar and take your child's college fund or your next vacation fund for as long as you need him to make you feel better. (Fast forward ten years: "Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad! Feel better now that I have to take $100,000 in loans just to go to Junior College?  But, hey, at least we can qualify for low income loans since you tanked everyone's savings and career in the divorce!  THANKS!!!).

If you want a crook, you've found him in Doyne.  If you want peace, run.  Especially if he or she is angry, manipulative, and/or aggressive.  If he/she's not (and/or you're not), you don't need Doyne anyway, so why spend the money? Resources like uptoparents.com are free and far, far more healthy.

Best of luck parents. I hope you can learn from my mistakes, and the mistakes of other victims of the San Diego divorce industry.

God Bless.

More at WeightierMatter.com

Monday, June 3, 2013

A Judge Tells the Truth About Family Cases--Truth Your Attorney Won't Tell You.


Why Your Divorce Attorney Is Probably Your and Your Child's Worst Enemy


What Every Divorce Evaluator, Mediator, Lawyer, and Judge SHOULD Be Telling Parents AND Kids Immediately; Why Aren't They?


Our Attitude In Front of Our Kids Matters More Than We Know...


A Woman's Perspective about . . .


Courts: Question: Why Isn't UpToParents.org's FREE Program the "Regular, Automatic, and Immediate Referral" Mr. Asher, Family Law Judges, Mediators, and Attorneys Recommend? Oh, and tell me once again--why did you go to law school? To help people? To die rich? To make a difference? Hmmm. How's it going?


The Problem Is the Problem


America's Favorite Form of Child Abuse


3 Girls' Invisible Pain